Jay’s Story
Jay’s Life Story – The Significant Points
This is going to be pretty lengthy so I’ll do my best to get directly to the points and divide up the sections. It is my hope that this story will be an encouragement to others and give you a level of understanding of what makes Jay who he is. Before I begin please let me encourage you to feel free to contact me or comment with anything you might wish to say or add or ask.
My Childhood
I was born October 28, 1980, in Swift Current, Saskatchewan, Canada. It was a pretty uneventful childhood and I mean that in a good way. I was in Cub Scouts, I learned to shoot a .22 at the age of 9, I was always interested in engines, guns, fishing, hockey cards and video games and at the age of 12 I got largely into archery… the usual boy stuff. I wasn’t popular and got picked on quite a bit (I even had what I would call my group of enemies because they picked on me so bad), but I had my good friends and they were, with one exception (which I won’t mention, but it is the truth), true friends. I was good in school but that, combined with being pretty overweight, was not helpful in making a kid’s life easier.
With my dad’s encouragement I got a job at the age of about 11 cutting a lawn because I wanted a new bike. Of course I was pretty young and couldn’t haul the mower and edger half way across the city but he was more than willing to take me and help for a pretty minimal cut… Sorry that was a bad joke… For a minimal fraction of the pay. On a side note, I have always had incredible support from my parents in everything I’ve done. I thought I would stop cutting lawns after getting that bike, but I discovered money was very nice and that one lawn expanded into a pretty good business of yard maintenance. Dad stuck with it too and we were quite enjoying our time working together in addition to the monetary rewards. I recall each time looking back at a job well done and a lawn well groomed just to remember to appreciate what I had. That brings us to the age of 13 and the end of grade 8.
Summer of 1994
It was that summer that changed my life forever… well the first major change forever. I had things good, from success at school to great parents, but like most people I wanted more. More money, more things, more CDs, more fishing tackle and those hollow pursuits that always just leave you wanting more never resulting in lasting satisfaction. It was that summer that I entrusted all of the yard maintenance jobs to my dad and I went to West Bank Bible Camp for a week. It was wonderful. The friends, the activities, the company… Before I went there I had never gone to church other than the odd Christmas service, so basically once every two years or so. Being at camp, being taught in a way more easily understood and intriguing, on topics very relevant to a young man, I began to understand. It isn’t just a Christmas thing or a church thing. It is about Jesus Christ, His sacrifice, love and gift to us.
Once learning these truths I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior that final evening at camp. I could be very elaborate and long-winded about the way it felt but one sentence will be fully adequate. Accepting Him created a joy, peace and change in me as I had never known. People who do not understand or do not know Jesus sometimes ask how someone can believe in something they cannot see. I challenge them to look at the changed lives of those people that have entrusted their lives to Jesus. It does not get more visible than the real-life transformation in those who have trusted Him.
All Good Things… Do NOT Need to Come to an End
I returned to Swift Current full of energy despite a week of poor sleep. I took the initiative to begin reading my Bible and it was going well though I could have used more guidance and support from other Christians to help me learn and grow. I decided to seek that support by trying out a youth group. Talk about a kick to the face. I showed up with enthusiasm only to see that in the group I decided to try were two of the guys that picked on me badly at school since I was young. I kept an optimistic and open mind that maybe they would be different here in this setting and that maybe I could use this opportunity to turn two enemies into two friends. The harassment continued. No youth pastor or leader stepped in to stop them. I just endured an evening of ridicule as I watched my newfound faith teeter on the edge. I feel it was my first test that I blew.
I know now that it was just one youth group, that it was just two guys, that not everyone in a youth group follows the principles Christians do. A number of youth go to those groups for the social interaction alone. I also know that I, like everyone, am a sinner and that those two picking on me then is no different than me ignoring the need of someone else now or getting angry at a bad driver for two examples. I also understand that if we hope to help people like that to change we must invite them in and model right liming and not just preach at them.
After that unfortunate event I decided not to give up all hope, but to continue reading my Bible and remain optimistic. I did read my Bible from cover to cover though in honesty there were nights before bed when I know my focus drifted as I read. I was not told that it might be better to read the New Testament first, learn more about Jesus, and then go from there. I lost a lot of motivation once I finished because I did not know where to proceed next and as I have learned since, we need community to grow and improve. The biggest point I want to make was that I learned that not everyone you expect to be nice is nice and a group of people cannot be judged by the actions of a few.
The Downward Spiral
The title of this section was in fact one of my favorite CDs at the time, “Nine Inch Nails: The Downward Spiral”. What a shame. Such a hate filled album and I am pleased that it, along with many other similar CDs, no longer have a home in my collection. As I grew older I continued my prayer life though it quickly grew repetitive, stale and not heartfelt. I grew closer to some friends from the archery club as we were now at high school together and spent way more time together. Peer pressure, silly ideas and the desire to fit in soon took over in my life and I started participating in activities I honestly did not think I would ever be involved in including smoking. My .357 Magnum replica pellet pistol became a weapon for hunting cats and pigeons instead of targets or gophers. Swiping a pop for my coffee breaks, from the very company that employed me, was common and mischief was far more appealing than any other fruitful activity out there. We claimed that there was nothing better to do but there certainly were better things than we were currently up to. Thankfully my grades stayed decent but the pursuit of money to buy things, that I once again believed would bring me happiness, and mischief were about my biggest priorities. We crashed a few parties but I much preferred to be driving than partying so I never drank with a few exceptions where it was a safer situation with people you could count on to get you home safe.
Yes, I am aware that I was not the worst kid in the city and I know many people who were my age then and into far worse things, but my downward spiral was bad enough because it was not who I wanted to be. Thankfully God stepped in and gave me a firm reminder of His love and that He had much greater things in store for me!
The Spiral Slowed
I will be brief here because you can read the full account of my accident on it’s own page. Essentially, on September 23, 1997 I rolled my truck on a gravel road just north of Swift Current, Saskatchewan, breaking my neck and becoming a C5-6 quadriplegic. I spent the next 3 weeks in Royal University Hospital in Saskatoon. Those three weeks are quite foggy in my memory and truly, it seems more like about 4 days that I was there. This was because of the morphine, other painkillers and natural repression. To this point I did not have much time to sort things out because my mind was so clouded and my thinking unclear.
After those three weeks I was transferred to Saskatoon City Hospital to begin rehab. As to be expected, I had some bad days, but I never really became too depressed. I did have time to sort things out now that my mind was clear of painkillers and beginning to recover from the whole ordeal. The “what if?” game would pop up from time to time along with the why me syndrome but it wasn’t until I calmed my emotions and rediscovered my need for God that I truly began getting ready psychologically to come home. One foolish afternoon while still in SCH I had a cigarette after a particularly stressful day of rehab. I thought it was helpful so another followed after another day and those two rekindled the addiction. This was so stupid and I know it did not reflect the behavior of the man I wanted to be, a follower of Christ. My only conclusion for the stupidity (call it an excuse if you like but it happened) was that, as before, I did not know how to proceed in my faith, though the opportunity was there to attend church services right in the hospital.
When I was discharged I had recovered to a C6-7 neurological level. Three weeks after getting home I was given the opportunity to go to the Shriners’ Hospital in Chicago to see what more they could do to help me. The biggest success of the trip was finding a splint that allowed me to write properly. Before this anything I had used made my handwriting completely illegible and it was bad enough before my accident. Aside from that I learned how much I appreciate Canada to put it nicely.
I felt that I was back of the straight path except for sneaking a smoke whenever I could. My rediscovery of my need for God helped get me back on track, but truthfully my reduced ability to get into the mischief from before played a big part. The temptation was removed by my disability. Things returned to a somewhat normal routine. I took the time to get my driver’s licence back which was a huge step and incredibly encouraging to my psychological state. Of course I wanted wheels again and I thought I found the perfect car but it sold on me. I was upset but growing in my understanding I realized I could ask God for guidance on this matter. I did so and a few weeks later on the way to Saskatoon for a doctor’s appointment I found the truly perfect car. 
White Lightning! My fully loaded 1993 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme with a 3.4L 24 Valve DOHC V6 engine, leather interior, power sun/moon roof and interior climate control. A week after buying it I lined up at a light in Swift Current with the very car I almost bought a few weeks prior. We revved our engines. I had no intention of racing, but wanted to see what the car I almost bought could do. I found out alright! As the light turned green, he stepped on it and the car died as I crept away from the line. God protected me from getting a lemon and provided a vehicle far better than I expected for the same cost.
I returned to high school the following year to finish grade 12 and graduate. I had found my new groove and thought I knew who the true friends were. Too soon did I return to a comfort zone where I thought everything was secure. I started focusing on all the wrong areas and giving in to peer pressure way too easy. The adolescent need to fit in sky-rocketed as I now had a major disability to overcome and show people that I was the same old Jay. Not the person I wanted to be, but the easiest route to take while grappling for friends to not leave me… friends who I discovered to be poor friends in the end. I left for Moose Jaw and college more excited about the experiences like partying and not hiding my cigarettes from my parents. Poor motives.
The Darkness Before the Light
College was fun at first. I was doing well at the classes. The people, the partying, the bars… the hangovers? Not that much fun, each one leaving a bigger feeling of emptiness that the next gathering did not fill. It was like climbing a muddy slope when each step you take to gain ground only causes your planted foot to slip further and faster. Thankfully, near the end of the first year I began to see this losing situation. One Sunday morning I was feeling a particularly heavy guilt as I flipped through the channels and came across a program. It was as I sat there listening to Pastor John Hagee at Cornerstone Church in San Antonio, Texas that I rediscovered that thanks to Jesus’ sacrifice it is not too late to return to the right path. While sliding down my ugly muddy slope my foot again found the Rock.
It was not a total, immediate change, but I know I felt as though I had some guidance as I started to watch Cornerstone every Sunday morning. As I watched that show, returned to prayer, reading my Bible (not nearly frequently enough but better than none) and made conscious decisions to follow God I felt my joy growing. Situations that would have stressed me out terribly before impacted me far less as I entrusted them to God. My convictions toward drinking and other fruitless activities grew. I must pause to say that the indirect influence of my friend Ken was truly a positive element. When I looked at him and his disposition, choices and mannerisms I felt a desire to have those things. Those things that can only come from a close relationship with Jesus.
Time to Move On
I recall the spring of 2001 and one specific trip home to Swift Current from Moose Jaw. It was near graduation and most people had plans or at least an idea of what they wanted to do after school was finished. I didn’t have any solid ideas yet but I was planning on continuing my education but I wasn’t too sure if the course was feasible for me. One evening while sitting atop a great hill overlooking the city I got to thinking and praying about the future and I received the most real direction from God that I had ever known. Quite simply I was overwhelmingly drawn to Saskatoon.
After graduation and getting moved back to Swift Current, but not unpacking much, I began looking at the real estate market. It was a pretty good summer but as much as I love my parents, I was looking forward to finding my own home once again. At this point I had enrolled in the CGA (Certified General Accountants) Program of Professional Studies and completed one course by the end of the summer semester. Though my desire to stop foolish activities was certainly there, I still remember a few evenings of having a few too many drinks. I know there were lasting effects from choices made during the college life.
It was in July, after research and communication with my real estate agent, that we took a trip up here to look for my new home. It was becoming real and I remember going back to that hill (my favorite thinking and praying spot) in Swift Current to have some quiet time before the trip the next day. I had a number of homes in mind from my searching on the net, but you really can’t judge a place without seeing it. After a number of quite discouraging locations we came to a condominium I was unsure of by the information on the net but knew I had found my new home after a very short viewing. It was hard to do but I sold White Lightnin’ and put it toward the condo.
Once I took possession and some minor modifications were completed, such as cupboards below the kitchen sink being removed and a bathroom being made accessible, I was able to move in. I remember my excitement in the months counting down until I could move in. It was during that period that 9/11 occurred. I moved in 20 days later on October 1, 2001. One note of interest was that I had told myself I was going to quit smoking by the time I moved to Saskatoon. It did not happen.
Beginning Again
The process of getting caregivers set up again had begun. I do believe that this process and concerning myself with who the scheduled caregiver is, whether it was in rehab or with Homecare over a decade later, is the biggest stress I face daily to this day (immensely better living in the SE quadrant on Saskatoon though!). Combine that with the stress of post secondary classes until the spring of 2004 and your looking at one guy who had issues with his health. My life during that period consisted of studying, personal care, trying and trying to quit smoking and more whiskey than I ever would prefer. I probably had about four drinks every two or three weeks. That is four doubles at one sitting, once every two or three weeks. More than enough to thoroughly intoxicate.
The alcohol, besides the physical hangover, was causing me guilt and more than a few gastrointestinal issues. I finally got mad at myself and decided that this would end now! I still enjoy an alcoholic drink but I am ever wary of the past and potential consequences from a lack of temperance. It is truly amazing how God works. He knew exactly what I needed to be freed of the chains of alcohol by causing the issues it was causing me. Looking back at pictures from the past I see how much weight I gained as well. I am glad that I have lost that weight, and now am in a smaller wheelchair which makes maneuvering and getting into smaller places easier and increases my mobility. Since the time when I was partaking in that consumption my heart has softened considerably, but at the time my stubbornness required stubbornness to get me motivated. After an earnest, heartfelt prayer I knew that with the forgiveness I received and with the help of the Holy Spirit I was freed from that sin. Temptation still crept in from time to time but it was much eaier to dismiss. All it took was an honest commitment and an honest request for help because I could not do it on my own.
New Wheels
My current van had not been working well for me logistically.
I owned two spots in the underground parking, but the height of the van prevented me from parking down there. As well, with the weight I had gained, transfers were much more difficult and the snow was usually a few feet high in front of the van in winter anyway so there was no getting in let alone transferring safely. This restriction was a growing frustration so I prayed about getting a new van that would work better for me. I must admit that throughout my life I have always been blessed financially and I give thanks to God for that very often. My parents taught me how to manage money and how to work hard which is of great value but I cannot deny the guidance of the Holy Spirit toward an attitude of good stewardship. Of course I would trade it all except one pair of underwear to be able-bodied again but I am learning more about the opportunities my unique situation provides me but back on topic.
After much prayer and a strong leading I ordered my new Dodge Grand Caravan in February of 2003 and began the process of getting it manufactured and modified. The van arrived in Saskatoon in May of 2003 for the final modifications which included the measurement and installation of the chair lockdown device and the hand controls. It was ready for me to drive in early July of 2003 and was that ever a sweet day!
At first I couldn’t climb the ramp to get in the van, but after about 5 tries and some additional weight lifting I was good to go. I felt a renewed freedom with this vehicle and felt like my life was going to vastly improve. Enough with the hermit behaviour. I should express my appreciation of my very caring Uncle Jim and Aunt Doreen who always offered to do any shopping for me that I needed or take me places with my old van when I needed. There were some very cold Sundays that they took me to wheelchair rugby and I always appreciated it.
My life and mobility did improve and I had the freedom to get where I needed to go, but unfortunately I really didn’t have many places to go. This great new van was used mainly to get a few groceries and cigarettes. I was going to go to wheelchair rugby more often (one of the great reasons to move to Saskatoon was for the rugby) but organization has been less frequent in the winter the last few years. I also wanted to find a church but managed to find excuses. I was still watching Cornerstone but really, how can a broadcast be the same as actually being there, interacting and meeting people. My friend since I was 2 years old had just graduated from the University of Saskatchewan and moved back to Swift Current. I should have taken the opportunity to go to church with her when she was here, but that was with the old van, and battling the snow and the very dangerous transfer would have been trying. Maybe that is just another excuse but regardless I now had the transportation I needed.
Met an Amazing Woman
After going home to Swift Current for Christmas of 2003, and some of the best ice fishing I’ve had in years (142 Yellow Perch in 2 days, total of probably 9 hours of fishing), I returned to Saskatoon. Shortly after New Years, on January 5, 2004, I met an amazing woman online; Angie, my future wife. She saw my profile on an online matchmaker service and messaged me. I had seen her profile and picture and contacted her before Christmas. I never got a reply (my message went into her junk email folder) but a few days after I sent that message I returned to her profile to see the picture had changed from an Asian woman to a Caucasian woman. My thoughts were immediately full of suspicion and curiosity if I had found one of the internet stalkers we’ve all heard about.
Fortunately it was simply an error on the website’s part. They just posted the wrong picture. After a short chat, because she was on her way to her birthday party with friends, we said good-bye for that evening. I decided that the most important thing I could do was to tell her very soon that I was a quadriplegic in a wheelchair. I decided the next day to tell her by sending her the picture of me next to my new van at my “Bro’s” wedding. I told her that I would like to send a picture that may surprise. Her reply upon receiving and viewing the picture was, “Oh, you drive a minivan!” Not a word about the wheelchair. Now obviously she noticed it, but it certainly was the most excellent response I had ever received and I knew I had met a very special woman.
We talked online for about 10 days then decided we didn’t want to wait any longer to meet. Our first date was great as well as the following 220 dates we had. She invited me to a friend’s baby dedication at the church she attended. I gladly went. I had a few reservations after the terrible experience with that youth group I had described above but it was a great day and I had never felt so welcomed in a church before. I knew I would be coming back and I certainly did. It has been the most huge boost my faith in God has ever had. I have since been baptized and received membership at Ebenezer Baptist Church. I am very proud to call it my home church. I have heard of and experienced negative things with some churches and it hurts when I hear of someone who did have a bad experience. Their first response is something against all Christians. I understand the frustration. But every business, hospital, care home, school or church has their problems, some worse than others. It’s how they acknowledge and deal with them that matters. The only thing I can say to someone who does not believe in Jesus and his sacrifice for us and our sins, and has read this far, is that I need you to look at the first part of this sentence. “Our sins.” We are not perfect. None of us. Not even “those Christians” that may have acted hurtfully. That is why we need Jesus’ sacrifice for us to cleanse our sins and to guide us to the right path in his loving way. Again, the difference in a church, regardless of its problems, is how it handles them and how they treat each other and others not in their midst each Sunday. If this has intrigued you I ask you to read this.
After meeting Angie, with her encouragement and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, I was able to quit smoking without any medication or prescription. I did use a few pieces of Nicorette. But I simply reinforce my point. I am a Christian. I had slipped. I am not perfect in any way and I was poisoning my body with cigarettes. But with God’s help I have improved myself.
On August 7, 2004 I asked Angie to marry me. She said yes and we were wed on January 22, 2005.
Gift Unwrapped
Toward the end of our engagement we received an early wedding present from Angie’s grandparents. It was a monetary gift that we had planned on using, or trying to use, toward the purchase of a digital camera. I had always had an interest in the thought of photography but was skeptical about the potential of finding a digital camera that I could use with my paralyzed hands. With a bit of a search we found one that worked very well for me. It was not long before I moved beyond taking simple snapshots with this camera and was told by a number of people that I seem to have an eye for photography.
Over the course of the next few months and years I educated myself in using the camera beyond full automatic mode. It was not long before I discovered an appreciation for creativity and art in a way that I never dreamt possible being a man who always valued mathematics, science and business. Once I had enough photographs worth sharing I developed a website, within this website, to focus more on my photography than in my general site. You can find my photography site, Jay Scott Photography, here. Scott is not my last name but an alias. I chose an alias for a few reasons. The first and foremost was to avoid the trap of pride.
I know myself very well and that I, like a lot of people, like our praise. Some people almost feed on it and I know that there have been times in my past when I have felt, after significant effort on my part without receiving any praise for that effort, that it was not worth my time. That is not the attitude I want to have. Having an alias helps to prevent wanting to see my name in print or large flashing lights because it is not my name. It will help me to acknowledge that this gift that I have been given is a gift from God. The passion I have take photographs and to study hard to get better and learn more is from Him as well.
More on this in a while.
The Fall before we had gotten married we joined a young married couples Bible study group with our church. It was not the first time that this demographic of people had welcomed a young engaged couple. We have been in a small group ever since and it is really a good way to grow close to a tightly knit group of people. The problem is though that with our demographic there are a lot of people that are early in their careers and are getting transferred or work nonstandard hours and of course children and their challenges are coming around more every day. These factors do make commitment a struggle for some people and we have seen a number of couples come and go from our group.
Newlywed Life
Our short engagement period went well. We planned and prepared for our wedding, which was a very beautiful day with all the details being planned for thanks to Angie’s efforts. The amount of time that she spent on favours for our guests and every other little detail was amazing to me. Unfortunately just prior to the wedding we had severe freezing rain and a larger number of guests than we expected could not come. It was still a good day for us but it was cold. I think that the photographs turned out very nice and that there is something very beautiful about a winter wedding but it was still a cold day. We were married on January 22, 2005.
We had an excellent photographer, Rachel Neville, for our wedding. Watching her work and seeing how she looked at things through her camera and in other ways from a photographer’s perspective did a lot to draw me in to photography. Watching her take those pictures, position us, and after the wedding show us some of the digital manipulation that she had performed, and done right in front of us on her laptop, to the photographs was another significant force that drew me toward digital photography.
Life in our condominium was comfortable but we knew that we would not be there for too much longer. We wanted a puppy and the potential for children in the future always existed. Neither of those were allowed into the condominium so we knew that eventually we would be looking at either a different condominium where pets and children were allowed, a house that would be suitable for renovating and making wheelchair accessible or building a house from scratch.
In the meantime Angie had started a new job the Spring after we were married. It was in a location very close to where she previously worked but it was an actual massage therapy business as opposed to Dance Saskatchewan where most people would not think to look, when paging through the Yellow Pages, for massage therapy if that was what they were seeking. The rent was lower, the client base was larger and it was just an all-around better location for her to be working.
Using My Gift
Wanting to use my gifts and abilities to help others has always been a priority. I have been blessed with a situation that not many people have. My health needs to be on my priority list near the top. Whenever I sacrifice that every other area suffers. But not many people have the opportunity and the free time that I do and I want to use that time to bless others. I have some skills in web design and even greater skills in photography and whenever I am given the opportunity to use those skills to bless others I will.
Shortly after Christmas 2006 I finally purchased a copy of the Adobe Suite which includes Photoshop and Dreamweaver (a web design program). Until that time I had been using illegal copies of the software. I told myself that I was just evaluating it and that I would buy it if it met my needs. Months went by and I never sought a legal copy. I don’t know exactly when I realized the conviction before me and what my choices had led me into but I realized that I needed to do something. How could I hope this website would be a blessing to others if it was created with pirated software. God would not bless something created in such a way. I couldn’t afford the $2,000+ for a copy of the software so I prayed that God would provide if it was still his will for me to continue with this site.
It wasn’t a week later that I was offered to purchase a copy of the Adobe Suite through the church at the not-for-profit cost. I thought that was a great deal and happily accepted the offer. Then when the software arrived the church wanted to cover half of the cost of the not-for-profit copy yet! I could hardly believe it and I just felt so blessed and appreciative. My point is that I made a mistake, I repented and look at the result.
Now, it is my goal to use what I have and what I’ve been given to bless others and to help in whatever way I am able. The other most significant reason for me choosing an alias for my photography website is that there are times when I am given an honorarium or some kind of remuneration. I suppose, technically, that should be claimed on income tax. But there have been more than a few times that I have spent money on gas, prints, media, shipping, frames, binders and other numerous investments for the benefit of those that I’m helping. The records that I kept for my own interest indicate that I am in the red. That is okay with me as my goals are being met. But those records probably would not hold up to an audit because a number of the things I have spent money on or invested in would not be tax deductible. We are not talking about thousands of dollars here. Probably less than $250 but enough that I would prefer to just keep my records and make sure that I am giving more that I am receiving.
New Home
We moved into our new house September 10, 2007 and received our puppy February 1, 2008. Friends completed the ramp in the garage to get me up to the door (the homebuilder could not build it for me because the grade was going to be steeper than the legal grade of 1:12), my elevator was installed in early 2008, our concrete was done early in the Spring and our landscaping completed in the Fall.
Ten Year Tuneup?
Being in a wheelchair with reduced sensation has its challenges that a lot of people might not understand. For a few years I had been fighting a patch of dry skin just below my left shoulder blade. It was caused by friction on my back from the push cane of my wheelchair. I, like most men according to my doctor, tend to lean to the left. The fact that I need to use one arm to support my weight almost all the time while using the other to perform whatever task I am doing did not help the situation. How much time did I spend in front of a computer leaning on my left elbow while typing with my right hand? The answer is a lot.
The dry patch of skin was getting worse but I did my best to keep it moisturized and fight back. It never opened into an ugly sore of any type but it certainly wasn’t getting any better.
I had been researching an upgrade in camera for myself. I knew this was not going to be inexpensive so I was making sure that it was the right one and had been shopping online and reading for months. When the time was right, and with my wife’s support, I purchased my Pentax K10D with my 16 to 50 mm DA* lens. This was in early October as it was an early birthday gift/photography investment.
I did not get much of an opportunity to use this camera before the dry patch of skin revealed to be the cause of what I had been fighting for some months now. I think the combination of stress in organizing last-minute financing for our house, selling the condominium, adapting to new homecare workers, moving, exhaustion and every other little thing was piling on top of me. This resulted in whatever my body had been fighting taking over.
After what appeared to be flu like symptoms for a prolonged period of time, I had a number of health issues I would rather not go into detail about but they seem to slightly resolve. Very shortly after that slight resolution, I got into bed early one Monday night, when I could not seem to control my shivering and chills, to reveal a huge lump on my back underneath that dry patch. Without going into any unpleasant details I was taken by ambulance, assessed to have a serious infection, given some IV antibiotics and sent home with instructions to return in eight hours for in other round of antibiotics.
After dragging my exhausted and ill self back to emergency in the morning as instructed they could tell that I was worse and were disgusted that the doctor of the previous evening had even sent me home. They did a biopsy and found out that it was a severe infection. I was admitted to ICU, the area was debrided, and I was kept in isolation for fear that it may be necrotizing fasciitis. That is flesh eating disease to those who do not know. Thankfully it was not but a form of Group A Strep. Rounds of antibiotics, 14 litres of saline pumped into me, and even a blood transfusion when my body did not have what it needed to fight infection was required. It was a serious situation to say the least. When I look back at it now and the notes that I made during that time I realize it was more serious than I thought at the time.
Thankfully, though there was still some healing to be done, once I got home I was able to enjoy getting ready for Christmas and trying to get ready for an upcoming surgery. This surgery was to address what we thought was the problem of my discomfort from the start even prior to moving into our new home. When it was completed in early January it did assist with some further problems I had and I felt like I was finally back to level of function that I had not had for some time.
So what did I gain from that whole ordeal? There had been an admitted slump in my spiritual life and disciplines. I was spending far less time reading my Bible, praying and working to be the man that I want to be. This ordeal took away the distractions of television, video games and everything else that can so easily distract us from what is important. Using this time wisely was my biggest gain from the entire experience.
It is easy to go to church every Sunday and to say a quick prayer before supper but that really isn’t true time spent with God, seeking his will and becoming more Christlike on a daily basis. Even now, after what I went through, I am bothered by how short of a memory I have. One part of me thinks that I should have taken time hours ago today to read a devotional and spent some time in quiet meditation. The other part of me thinks I had better get as much done as I can right now while I am feeling good in case I don’t feel well enough to get done what I want to get done later this day. It is an ongoing battle with me.
These Days
These days I have been making it my goal to increase my skills as a photographer and to learn as much as I can. I have made some additional investments in equipment and gear over the years without trying to be greedy. I know that in nine times out of ten it is not to gear that makes photographer or the tools that makes the carpenter but without proper tools neither would get anything done. I want to be a good steward of these things that I’ve been blessed with and I always make sure to research each purchase long before I decide to actually make the purchase because I want to make sure it is the right piece of equipment for me and the best value out there that will meet my needs.
Anytime I’m given an opportunity to do a shoot for people or businesses I will take it and be thankful. Recently I’ve been able to photograph an accessible host tour here in the city with OnTask Rehabilitation Ltd., the Rick Hansen Wheels in Motion fundraiser, do portraits for Uro Medical Supplies, portraits of our godson and a number of other opportunities that I have been thankful to be able to do. With each one I find myself thinking about potential earnings less and less. Specifically the most recent shoot, the portraits for Uro Medical Supplies, I have seen where they have used the photos and that alone makes me smile and I am glad to have helped them out.
Currently this website is one of my priorities as I may be teaming up with Uro Medical Supplies and some other organizations to form a peer support group for people in our situation who need it be they new injuries or long-term injuries facing difficult times. It is exciting to me that the space that I had such a hope for for so long may actually soon come to be as functional as I had always hoped it would be.
In the new year I have been asked to shoot a wheelchair basketball tournament and I can only imagine what else will come my way. I responded to an ad on the Internet of someone looking to be taught photography. I warned her before we began that I am no professional or teacher but that I would do my best in preparing lessons and discussing the topics but that we will discuss them face-to-face which you won’t get with online reading or most online courses. So far I would say it is going very well for both of us and now, with this effort, I have lessons written and ready for distribution should I need them in the future. One other opportunity for me may be to photograph a number of disabled children who we will need portraits for use in relation to the peer support group and I will be glad to provide those when the time comes.
On my mind, after encouragement from four sources, has been to write a book. A lot of what you read here might be in that book. I have my ideas of how I could incorporate my experiences and what I’ve learned with my photography and it keeps me thinking.
Downstairs on my workbench are numerous projects also brewing in my mind of how to best complete them. And then there are the other projects that are formulating in my mind to keep me busy doing these cold winter months.
Concluding Thoughts
A person must be patient, strong, positive and hopeful taking problems one at a time. I know this: Without God my life would still be directionless and unrewarding. I do what I do with the intent of furthering God’s kingdom. That does not mean thumping on a Bible every time I meet somebody new. It means serving however I can to meet needs when they are evident. When someone asks why I do what I do I will respond that it is because I serve Jesus who has met my needs now it is my pleasure to be his hands and try to meet your needs in His name.